Hungry?

I’m not really sure if what I’m about to share is either too weird (causing some of you to judge me), or potentially disturbing (causing some of you to be actually concerned), or fairly normal (causing some of you to identify with me)…but here goes!  So Michelle and I (yes…I just lumped her into this mess) say a specific phrase when we see Matty being really cute or when we are really hungry.  The line is… “Oh! I could just take a bite out of him right now!” 

Okay, pause!  We are not cannibals.  We’ve never actually taken a bite of our son.  It’s just an expression, meaning that we are so overcome by his cuteness that hugging, smiling affectionately, and words of encouragement just don’t seem to be enough…so “taking a bite out of him” just seems to be the appropriate response.  It’s like seeing a piece of your favorite pie around Thanksgiving time and being overcome by the emotion of finally being home, having your favorite dessert waiting for you, and not wanting to contain yourself.  And sometimes we are just hungry…and Matty just looks edible.  (Okay…that’s probably weird!)

So yesterday I’m standing in the kitchen around 5pm waiting for the wonderful soup Michelle is making to get finished.  Matty has been complaining for about an hour that he’s really hungry (after eating a piece of banana bread (that I made from scratch), some grapes, and a peanut butter and honey sandwich).  The dude is not really hungry.  So I’m standing there talking with Michelle when Matty comes running into the kitchen and just takes a bite of my stomach!

I have a momentary freak-out!  I gently push him away, start giving him the lecture about how we don’t bite people, and try to assess the damage (not really any…I just wanted him to think it hurt). 

Then Michelle realizes what just happened and offers an explanation…

Michelle: “Oh, wait.  I think he just might be doing what we always say we’re going to do.”

Me: “What’s that??!!”

Michelle: “We always say that we’re so hungry that we could take a bite out of him.”

Me: “Seriously??!!”

Michelle: “I really think he’s just playing.”

Me (looking now at Matty): “Are you just playing with daddy?”

Matty (with the cutest, saddest, most innocent face in the whole world): Nothing…he just nods his cute little face up and down like he’s about to melt into the floor.

Me: “Come here little man. Daddy isn’t mad. Mommy and daddy just get excited sometimes and say funny things like ‘we want to take a bite out of you,’ but we really don’t mean that we actually bite anyone.  Cool?”

Matty: “Sure dad!”

I seriously could have taken a bite out of the little guy in that moment…the cuteness was unbearable!