The Art of the Bedtime Routine

I mentioned a few weeks ago that Matty has been having a hard time falling asleep at night unless we lay with him…and even then he resorts to violence before finally succumbing to the overwhelming feeling of tiredness.  So about a week or so ago I decide not to lay down next to him.  But before I left, I told him that if I heard him walking around I would have to come turn off his lamp.  He looked at me really funny and asked, “How can you hear me dad?”  To which I responded, “Dad hears everything.”  He gave me a look that was part awe, part sarcasm…like he didn’t know if he should be impressed or if he should call me out for my obvious exaggeration.  Later that night I heard him walking around in his room, so I went up the stairs to turn off his light.  He heard me coming and the next thing I hear is thump, thump, thump, pause, bed springs bouncing like crazy.  I went inside his room and found him still bouncing from the impact of launching himself across his room, just before I walked through the door.  He laughed…because he knew I didn’t catch him.  I gave him a warning about getting out of bed and then went on with our night.

 

The next night he was doing the same thing.  Only this time I calmly and stealthily glided up the stairs to his room.  He didn’t see me coming and he practically flew across the room as he went crashing into his bed when I appeared in the doorway.  He was so freaked out.  He looked at me and asked, “How did you get here?”  I told him that, like I told him the night before, dad hears everything.  His eyes got really big and he promised he would stay in his bed.

 

The next night, we tried the same tactic.  This time, when I told him that I would need to come upstairs and turn off his light if he was walking around, he turned to me and said, “Dad, don’t sneak up on me okay?!”  I almost laughed out loud!  I asked him why I should sneak up on him, was it because he needed time to jump back into bed before I got there.  With the innocence of a 4-year-old, he said, “Yeah dad, and because I don’t like being scared.”  (Everyone all at once… AHHHH…So Cute!!)

Hungry?

I’m not really sure if what I’m about to share is either too weird (causing some of you to judge me), or potentially disturbing (causing some of you to be actually concerned), or fairly normal (causing some of you to identify with me)…but here goes!  So Michelle and I (yes…I just lumped her into this mess) say a specific phrase when we see Matty being really cute or when we are really hungry.  The line is… “Oh! I could just take a bite out of him right now!” 

Okay, pause!  We are not cannibals.  We’ve never actually taken a bite of our son.  It’s just an expression, meaning that we are so overcome by his cuteness that hugging, smiling affectionately, and words of encouragement just don’t seem to be enough…so “taking a bite out of him” just seems to be the appropriate response.  It’s like seeing a piece of your favorite pie around Thanksgiving time and being overcome by the emotion of finally being home, having your favorite dessert waiting for you, and not wanting to contain yourself.  And sometimes we are just hungry…and Matty just looks edible.  (Okay…that’s probably weird!)

So yesterday I’m standing in the kitchen around 5pm waiting for the wonderful soup Michelle is making to get finished.  Matty has been complaining for about an hour that he’s really hungry (after eating a piece of banana bread (that I made from scratch), some grapes, and a peanut butter and honey sandwich).  The dude is not really hungry.  So I’m standing there talking with Michelle when Matty comes running into the kitchen and just takes a bite of my stomach!

I have a momentary freak-out!  I gently push him away, start giving him the lecture about how we don’t bite people, and try to assess the damage (not really any…I just wanted him to think it hurt). 

Then Michelle realizes what just happened and offers an explanation…

Michelle: “Oh, wait.  I think he just might be doing what we always say we’re going to do.”

Me: “What’s that??!!”

Michelle: “We always say that we’re so hungry that we could take a bite out of him.”

Me: “Seriously??!!”

Michelle: “I really think he’s just playing.”

Me (looking now at Matty): “Are you just playing with daddy?”

Matty (with the cutest, saddest, most innocent face in the whole world): Nothing…he just nods his cute little face up and down like he’s about to melt into the floor.

Me: “Come here little man. Daddy isn’t mad. Mommy and daddy just get excited sometimes and say funny things like ‘we want to take a bite out of you,’ but we really don’t mean that we actually bite anyone.  Cool?”

Matty: “Sure dad!”

I seriously could have taken a bite out of the little guy in that moment…the cuteness was unbearable!

Happy Adoption Day!

In honor of Adoption Day Jason did a radio show segment sharing our story. We are blessed everyday by the gift of adoption. We love you Matty!

http://benjaminclarkshow.com/11_22_13-show-listen/

Can You Drive Me There?

Missions Week at Lee this year (coming up next week) is sponsoring Cambodia and namely the People For Care And Learning Build A City project.  In the on-campus daycare they have put out little globes for collecting change to help raise money.  Each class has their own globe and the class that raises the most money wins a pajama, cereal, popcorn and movie day at school.  So Matty has been really excited about all the change they have been collecting.  I don’t think he understands that his class is getting killed…I need to rustle up some change…he’s just pumped that all this money is being put in the piggy banks. 

So the other day Michelle takes Matty to the grocery store and has a coupon for $10 off our groceries.  Matty asks her, "What is a coupon."  Michelle tells him that it saves them money, $10 to be specific.  Matty, without hesitation, responds by saying, “$10 for my friends in Cambodia?!”  Michelle looked a little taken aback with surprise and stumbled over a response of, “Yeah, sure Matty…what?”  (Seriously, who is this kid?!! J)

When they got to the check-out counter and the clerk gave Michelle the $10 bill, Matty snatched it out of the clerk's hand, held it up with pride, and announced, “This is for my friends in Cambodia.”  Then turning to Michelle, with all the seriousness in the world, asked, “Can you drive me there?”

It’s enough to make you laugh and cry at the same time.  The innocence of a child!!  Such a wonderful reminder to us all that we need to care about our neighbors…because everyone is just a car-ride away!

 

I can’t remember when I lost that type of innocence. 

 

It was probably sometime in middle school when I started to realize that the clothes you wear determined your social status.  I’ll never forget going to the first day of middle school (5^th grade where I came from).  My mom got me matching purple sweatpants and sweatshirt.  It was comfy, it was cozy, I could go to recess and dominate, and I was a fan of purple (the Minnesota Vikings are purple…so back off with the jokes).  As soon as I walked down the hallway and got to my locker, Anika Steffl was there waiting for me.  (We went to the same elementary school and had been in the same class since first grade.  I thought she was my friend.)  She looked at me and said, “What are you wearing?!”  For the first time I looked at what everyone else in the hallway was wearing and noticed that I was probably the only kid wearing toe-to-toe purple!

 

I went home that day and told my mom that I was not ever wearing that outfit again.  (Calling it an outfit just makes this story even more perfect…right?!)  I demanded that we get jeans and some real shirts…ASAP.

 

My mom told me that they would buy a couple pairs of jeans, but if I wanted anything more I would have to save my money and buy my own clothes.  (My parents weren’t cruel.  They just wanted to teach me about money and being responsible with material possessions.)  So I started doing the dishes and mowing the lawn for a small allowance that would be divided between my church tithe, clothing allowance, and baseball cards. 

 

As important as it was to learn to be responsible with money and to learn how a budget works…this was probably the end of my truly innocent days.  Ever since that day, money was no longer the thing that solved everyone else’s needs; it was the vehicle for providing me with stuff that made me socially acceptable. 

 

Money quickly becomes a solution to problems that only relationship can truly fulfill.

 

And this is the beauty of what Matty was saying when he took the $10 bill and asked to be driven to Cambodia.  He didn’t think that $10 was getting him anything.  He thought that $10 was a way to connect with a new friend that happened to need that $10 more than him.  He asked Michelle if he could give the money to his friends in Cambodia.

 

This is the innocence that we need to have.  The realization that relationship and community brings more life than all the material possessions in the world. 

 

A child has the luxury of innocence because mom and dad are supposed to meet their needs.  As adults who are learning how the world works and how much food costs, we can’t be naïve about our money.  But we also can’t rely upon it for our comfort and happiness.

 

Having money isn’t the sin.  The love of money (dependence on it for our identity) is the sin.  So as much as I thought buying jeans was buying me social status, the people I was friends with, especially the ones who cared about the real me, didn’t see a pair of jeans.  They saw a friend.  It’s that simple.

 

So let’s all get in our cars and drive to Cambodia!